Watch Out! Chipmonks About!

It makes me laugh when I read in the papers about so called 'Killer' chipmonks invading Britain. Really it's laughable.
All these stories about people being bitten by them is rather amusing.

Granted although they are related to the rodent family, they are more agressive than rats and mice. They're more of a predatory animal, so naturally if they feel threatened they are going to to turn around to a human and gnaw on your person.
Doesn't mean that they are killers, it just means they're smarter than you.

The fact that people claim to have been bitten by these animals begs the question, what were you doing. Chipmonks are creatures that will fight for their food and their safety and their home, so if you're sitting there with some chow or it seems like you are invading their territory naturally they're going to defend and attempt to take said chow from you.

I saw chipmonks at a safari park not so long ago, and as cute as they are they look like mean mo-fo's so let's go through Gemma's steps to not get bitten by one.

Step 1: If you see a chipmonk do not be alarmed, these animals can smell fear**, this gives them the upper hand

Step 2: If you have any food stuff in your hand, whether it sweet or savoury, surrender it, because lets face it it's easier to give it up and get something else than have a chipmonk eat you

Step 3: Keep your eye on the animal and slowly move away. Removing yourself from the animal and also its probably territory will prevent the chipmonk needing to bite you in defense

Step 4: Never approach a chipmonk. This is key in keeping them away from your extremities

Step 5: If a chipmonk bites you, do not panic. These animals have jaws of steel and the more you panic and fling your limbs around, the tighter they will grip. Relax, take deep breaths and stay still. It will be over in seconds.


(** Please note this is a lie as different species can NOT smell fear on each other eg. A horse cannot smell fear on a human etc)


Follow these steps and you will be able to lead a killer chipmonk fear free life.

However make sure you're tetanus shot is up to date and also you know how long you have to protect yourself against rabies.

Other wise enjoy the rest of the summer.